Currently Watching Funny Farm By Chevy Chase, Madolyn Smith Osborne, Kevin O'Morrison, Joseph Maher, Jack Gilpin see related

Happy Freedom Day

Currently Reading The Scarlet Thread By Francine Rivers see related

Who Knew?

I suppose a part of me always knew I would be here. But then again, it was also a part of my wildest dreams. So I'm excited, and still in awe, to say that Adam and I are getting married. In a week. Less than a week. Next Saturday I will be walking down an aisle, watching Adam standing there waiting for me. I have pictured this before. Dreamed of it; fantasized, but sometimes thought it was never going to be.

It's been a long road for us, but worth it, I guess. I wish we could change our past--we both do--but I am so happy to be marrying him.

Things have gone fast, too, but in some ways too slow. Fast because I keep thinking, oh, I should have done this for the wedding or invited this or that person...but everything needed to be done in a hurry. But I'm glad it was a short engagement (4 months).

I will never forget the feeling when Adam started talking to me about how he felt about me. And then he backed up to get down on one knee and it was one of the happiest feelings ever. Time slowed, and I knew what he was going to do...and I really had time to ponder....I thought of how happy he makes me, how much I have always loved him. I felt like the most beautiful, most special, most worthy person in that moment. I was the one he picked. I was the one he loved enough to want to share his whole life with me. I felt....Like I was fully pursued. Fully loved. Fully worthy. Security. Love. Belonging.

Does that even compare to how I'll feel in His presence when I finally see Him? All those feelings will be there--but multiplied I think. I can't deny my absence from church or closed and dusty Bible. But I can admit my love for my Lord. I always miss Him so much in my heart when I draw away. He always calls me back. I love Him. That one thing hasn't changed....though so much in my life has.

Many things in my life recently would have blown the old me away--the happiness I have found in Adam and our new life together. Who knew? But the one thing I do know is my love for Christ.

Hold me accountable.

Hey....it's been a while. But I just want you xanga-faithful writers to know that I actually read your posts every day at work. I can get email, but not xanga. But my email allows me to read your xanga (giving me something to do during the day) but it won't let me comment.

So, Mike and Eric and Lindsay, and Sean, and all you other writers, just know that I am reading about your lives every single day you write....and you had no idea. So you are often in my thoughts and prayers.

Well, this weekend I went to Camp Timberlake for the first time and hung out with my new group Great Adventure Ministries. It was awesome. I got to know some people better, had a campfire, did fun stuff, and all around had a great time. Plus, Audry and I were able to reconnect.

I'm excited because Chris Hruska is coming with me tonight to Great Adventure....and Steph Pfeifer will be there, and .....yeah.

well, just wanted to say to those of you who write that I do read your stuff and I hope you all are having a good day.

Currently Listening Beauty in the Broken see related

Wow, remember those days when I used to write.......

Okay, like about everybody else in the world, so much has happened to me. No, really, I mean it. But I'm not going to go into details about certain struggle in my life that afflicted enough of these posts. Instead I'll brief you on my summer. (staff for Campus Crusade in Myrtle Beach)

I LOVED it. Yes, there were really rough times, but I'm in a place now that I would not have been had it not been for those events. And my ROOMMATES!! are amazing. The four of us made up one person. We are all SO different, but got along so well. I loved the free afternoons I spent with Karen...shopping or driving around or lying by the pool or beach. And Kelly and Macy are people I am not used to being around...they ask the hard questions, they probe, they give truth.

That's what was so GREAT about this summer....people gave truth and grace....and were not afraid to give truth. I really hope I can carry this over in my life. It is hard for me to give truth to someone else; however, nothing helped me grow more this summer than those people around me being honest with me and giving me truth (kind of like HALIE HUGHES used to do at WSC) :)

I have an increased desire to do OVERSEAS MISSIONS. If you know me at all, you know this has been on my heart since my sophomore year in HS...something I have put off for a long time. This past spring semester, I began to get real sad about never actually doing what God had laid on my heart...and this summer I didn't have guilt....I just felt the PASSION and DESIRE once again.

I am so blessed to be single right now and to be in the place that I am. I am so blessed that God has chosen me and predestined me to suffer for Him and to be comforted by Him....to go to "Judea, Samaria, and the ends of the earth" to serve Him. I am excited! I have learned more about the 1040 Window...something I was excited about years ago. There are sooooo many countries in the 1040 window. And  these countries are filled with people groups and tribes who have never heard the message. HOWEVER, we know in Romans that God's grace and His gospel message is in their hearts. HOWEVER, it wouldn't hurt to go over there, give them some physical food and drink and then POUR out GOD's LOVE on them.

Okay, so you can tell I'm excited.                Well, this summer was amazing. I have now been home for about two and half weeks. For the past week I have been ALL ALONE dog-sitting for the parents, but they're about to come home and then i MOVE to my new city where I'll be teaching 7th grade English! And moving in with this awesome girl I met this past semester at church.

Okay, so, yeah, even in the midst of hard times and feeling extremely lonely this week :) and feeling rejected by some people (you can take a guess)....I feel nothing but blessed and I rejoice in these present "sufferings" (like I have any idea what true suffering is). God really truly has proved to be faithful. In these dark times, He has come to my rescue.

And the BIGGEST THING I LEARNED: Never stop reading His Word. Duh, huh? Nope, it's common for people to stop making time, to start making excuses, or for things to be going all right and we don't read our Bibles. I promise you, you get into the Word and you're gonna make it through all things. Because you start to really realize His promises and you start living like you have them.....because you do. I do. 

Stay grounded in the Word.   The phrase I have been repeating to myself all week: Let go and Let God. I know, cliche, but I can't tell you how much it's true.